When one of our own needs us, vets show up

One weekend shows why our veteran community is different

This post orginally appeared on Facebook. It is being shared with the author’s permission.

By Katie Chorbak

President, 50501 Veterans

Sometimes in life, you just need a group of people who become your family. People who will love you no matter what.

I’ve been having a few personal problems recently, and I realized I just needed to disappear for a little while. I needed to be around people who loved me. People who understand that life is hard and don’t expect you to pretend that it isn’t.

When you’re active duty, there’s this stigma that when you come home to visit, people don’t make time for you. Life moves on. People get busy. They have families, jobs, and responsibilities. Nobody usually means anything by it, but it can leave you feeling forgotten. It’s a shitty feeling.

This weekend reminded me why the veteran community is different.

When one of us needs our people, they show up.

We Are Family

A couple of days before, I texted Lisa and asked, “Can I crash on your couch?” Without hesitation, she said yes. When I got there, she had a room ready for me instead.

Lisa is the only one in this group that I’ve known for years. Chris and I are newer friends. So are Zee, Glow, and Dorothy.

And honestly, I think that’s what hit me the hardest. The veteran community has this incredible way of turning people you’ve only recently met into family.

This weekend wasn’t about getting a matching Jimothy tattoo. Chris and I eventually got the tattoos, but that’s just what we’ll have to remember the day.

What mattered was everything in between.

Lisa drove me to the tattoo shop and stayed with us the entire day, even though she wasn’t getting a tattoo herself. We spent hours waiting for our appointment, grabbed lunch together, laughed, told stories, and just enjoyed being in each other’s company. We also got to celebrate Lisa finishing her last round of chemo, which made the day even more special. Later, Glow came by just to hang out with us while we waited.

Nobody had to spend their Saturday that way. Nobody had to give up their time. They chose to.

That’s what I’ll remember. Not the ink. The conversations. The laughter. Celebrating a friend. Feeling understood without having to explain everything.

Feeling like I belonged.

I’ve Got You

Then, before I left Augusta to head home because I had to work, everyone met me for breakfast at 6:00 in the morning on a Sunday. We laughed that nobody had willingly been awake that early since the military, except for me because construction doesn’t care what day it is.

Then I looked around the table and realized what had actually happened. I had asked people to wake up before sunrise, drive 30 to 45 minutes, and spend an hour together before I had to head home. Every single one of them said yes.

Nobody complained. Nobody said it was too early. Nobody said they were too busy.

They just showed up. That’s what this community does.

The military teaches you to look to your left and your right because those are the people who will keep you standing when life knocks you down. They’re the people who carry you when you’re struggling and remind you that you don’t have to do everything alone.

I think what I’ve realized is that lesson doesn’t end when you take the uniform off. If anything, it becomes even more important. Some of the strongest relationships you’ll ever have aren’t built because you’ve known someone for decades.

Sometimes they’re built because someone sees that you need your people and simply says, “I’ve got you.”

That’s what all of you did for me this weekend.

Sometimes Love Isn’t Loud

Lisa, thank you for opening your home to me, giving me a place to stay, driving me around, and letting me celebrate such an incredible milestone with you.

Chris, thank you for spending the day with me, waiting for hours, sharing lunch, sharing laughs, and walking away with matching Jimothy tattoos.

Glow, thank you for coming just to hang out with us.

Zee, Glow, Dorothy, and Chris, thank you for getting up before dawn on a Sunday and driving to breakfast before I had to leave for work.

You may think those things were small. They weren’t. They were exactly what I needed.

Sometimes love isn’t loud. Sometimes it’s opening your home to someone who asked for your couch. Sometimes it’s spending hours sitting around a tattoo shop because the company matters more than the tattoo. Sometimes it’s celebrating someone finishing chemo. Sometimes it’s driving across town before sunrise just to share breakfast.

Sometimes love is simply showing up.

This weekend, every one of you showed up for me. I needed that more than I can put into words. Thank you for reminding me why I’m so proud to be part of this community.

I love you all.